Ditching mom and loving it!

Dear Family and Friends,

The past month things have continued to move in the right direction for Allie. Ron and I watched with excitement, and I'd be fibbing if I didn't admit to a bit of fear, mixed with an incredible amount of pride in our daughter and her friends, as she went off with without either of us, for the first time in almost two years. The week prior we had a "trial run" when Ron, Anjel, Uncle Doug and I took Allie to meet a group of her friends at a restaurant. Allie went off with Jordan to meet the group and have dinner at one end of the place while we enjoyed our dinner on the other side. We didn't see her again until we'd finished dinner and went outside to find her safely loaded up in her van and ready to go. "My friends want to show you that they can safely take me places without you" she tells me, with a grin on her face. So, when later that night Allie shared with me her plans to go out with Jordan the following weekend, I responded with the non-commital "we'll see". My daughter responded with something about it being time and if she couldn't have even this small resembalance of her former life then what, she asked, was the point? "I love you mom but I'm ready to ditch ya."

So began the conversations with myself for the next few days. Allie's 21 and is a smart young woman, I told myself. She's a survior and does a good job of looking after those that are responsible for looking after her. She is extremely in tune with her body and is all to aware of the signs that warn her that something is going wrong. Jordan is a competent, sharp and loving friend. She's seen Al at the worst of times and is familiar with her care. Allie deserves whatever quality of life she can find for herself. So when Jordan, Josh and Melissa showed up that weekend ready to go, I told myself it was time for me to let go. Jordan and I went over a few things and they were off. Because, I trust Jordan as much as I do I wasn't quite as crazy with worry as I thought I might be. I did have directions to her house and will admit to having some errands to run near there for a couple of hours :) We kept in touch via texts and it was clear from the smart alec messages I was getting, that Allie was having a teriffic time. Allie felt so loved and lucky to have a friend like Jordan who was willing to step up and take on such responsibility. They delivered her home safe and sound with a giant smile on her face. Thank you guys you are the absolute best!

Another one of Allie's goals has been to make it back to Valley Medical for Physical Therapy and to finally try an FES bike. Like the true athlete my daughter is, she successfully passed her FES Bike trial and we have ordered her one of her own. Unfortunately, the wait for delivery is 4 - 6 weeks but knowing she's going to be able to exercise at home on a regular basis is a huge boost to her morale. The bike as I've mentioned before has many health benefits not the least of which is blood circulation and the ability to build and maintain muscle.

So most days are better. Nights are still more sleepless than restful -- but better. The nature of Allie's injury doesn't lend itself to long periods of sleep. Not with the constant suctioning and repositioning. Allie has given up wearing both the tubi grips and teds on her legs that had been used to help prevent the blood dropping to her feet and thus contributing to the possibility of her passing out when getting up for the day. Another sign that her body is adjusting well to its current condition.

Every day we count our many blessings, but still this life we are living is a hard one. Every member of my family feels deeply the difficult challenges in our everyday life. We still mourn for the way things use to be. The freedoms, the lightheartedness, the sort of safe and simple state of mind we enjoyed never having even imagined such an extreme change was in our future. But, mostly our hearts continue to just plain ache. For no matter how much things have changed for us personally, we know that Allie deals with a million times more.

And deal with it she does. The other night Allie confided in me that things aren't all bad anymore. Hearing your daughter tell you that things in her life aren't all bad isn't exactly a mother's dream come true. In Allie's case though, I think it's a huge step. Last week she posted on her Facebook for the second time a picture of herself post accident. She also included pics from the hospital when she was in her halo and xrays of her neck. She does and always has possessed a remarkable strength.

On Saturday Allie went for her first tattoo. Accompanied by her possee, "team Allie" consisting of Jordan, Ashley, Samantha, Anjel, John and me. She now has the word "Believe" on her right foot. I think that about says it all!

A couple special thank you's first to Sandra and the rest of the Jensen family for the thoughtful letter, prayers and gift card, and to Laurey Shumaker for the card, prayer and CD. Sista Monica has been a favorite of Ron and mine for a long time. How cool that you got to sing with her! The CD is awesome and it is very special to be able to share this music with Allie who does enjoy a wide variety. Thank you to Jessica R. for always remembering Allie with your notes and cards. And thank you to the best family and friends anyone could ever wish for.

Thanks for listening. Thanks for caring.

Love, Peace & Happiness,
Deborah