Fear, Progress, Smiles & Tears

Dear Family & Friends,

Time passes in a hospital like it does in no other place. Some minutes pass like hours like when you are waiting for your loved one to get out of a surgery or undergo a treatment or test they find painful. Other times whole days pass by without your really noticing.

Things were going along pretty well (relatively speaking of course). I guess you could say we were experiencing a false sense of comfort. Allie is sleeping at night. She is getting much better with the bed to chair and back transfers. Pain meds have been adjusted. She was doing well with her speech and swallow therapies.

On Tuesday we had enjoyed some fresh air on the patio. We were back in her room and she was still up in the chair. She had been transferred over from the portable vent to the one in her room. All of a sudden she said she wasn't getting enough air. She told me she was going to pass out and her color changed. I looked at the dial and could see that the needle wasn't moving as far as it should have been indicating there was a leak some where. Allie began passing out. I grabbed for the ambu bag. Most of you probably know what that it is or have seen one on TV. I removed the tubing from her trach tube and began pumping air into her with the bag. Her eyes were blinking rapidly and she was not able to respond. Her nurse and I got her out of the chair and onto the bed (quickest transfer ever and not as graceful as usual). I continued to bag her but began to feel some resistance indicating a blockage of some sort. The room filled with people. My daughter lay on the bed. Her face was completely white. Her eyes were fixed open. It was what is referred to as a code blue situation. She was non-responsive. For a few brief seconds my never-ending faith that she would pull through all this, faltered. To look at her you would have been sure that she was already gone. We continued to call her name and pump air into her lungs. Time passed. It was taking too long. This could not be happening!

All of a sudden the color began to come into her face. She woke up. She asked what happened and told us she couldn't see. I could not believe that life was going to throw blindness her way now on top of everything else. Weren't things bad enough. Another five minutes or so passed and she was able to see.

So much for the false sense of comfort. Allie's tie to life is about as fragile as it can be. In spite of that she is meant to be here.

That was Tuesday. Today is Monday. Yesterday she practiced driving her wheel chair with the sip and puff. She did her best to have a positive attitude and smile and say thank you. Today she swallowed a tiny bit of yogurt. Today she got up in her chair twice for the first time. Today she smiled.

We are scheduled to move downstair to rehab on Monday. Her day will be very busy. Target date for Allie to come home is 4 weeks from now.

Please pray for God to give Allie the ability to breathe on her own before too much more time passes.

Thank you for your love, support, prayers, visits, meals, pet sitting, help with Adam, use of the motor home, etc. THANK YOU THANK YOU ALL

I am now among the unemployed. In spite of insurance problems, loss of income, etc. we know that with the love and support of our family and friends we will get through this.

Love, Peace & Happiness
Deborah